Sunday, October 4, 2009
Facebook and Myspace
Lenora Rand says that "truths about our lives that we often mask with polite smiles and the superficial "I'm find, how are you?" are leaking out in this online world." Do you think that, because of Myspace and Facebook, people are losing the ability to talk about uncomfortable topics in person, reverting instead to social networking sites?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think that although it isn't the rule and that there are certainly exceptions that exist, this is absolutely true in many respects. I base this not on myself, because I prefer treating conflict in the most direct, and private way possible, but through my interactions with myspace and facebook I have definitely noticed other people proving Rand's assertion to be true. For example, oftentimes someone would rant or call someone else names over their status changes, but only barely alluding to who the target of their comment might be rather than outright state their names. Besides that, people also often complain about their classes, or a certain teacher, or other problems in their lives through these status feeds.
ReplyDeleteThere are always exceptions, and I still know my close friends to tell me their troubles in person once in awhile. I guess it just also depends on circumstance and how close you are to the person in question. Overall, my answer would be yes, to a certain extent, but of course it's not everyone or everything.
This is an interesting subject. I am a person that dreads confrontation but if necessary I will endure it. If something is bothering me I will bring it to that person’s attention yet I normally do this over the phone instead of in person. As sad as it is, because I am not that great at confrontation it is difficult for me to talk to my boyfriend about certain things in person. I know for a fact that he is more willing to talk about things over text rather in person. If it is normal conversation we’re way better at talking face to face because the conversations just flow better but if it is confrontation there is an underlying fear if we talk in person. I brought this to his attention once and we had agreed that in the long run it is better to discuss things in person rather than over a message. Through text messages or other forms of technological communication there is room for error. Sarcasm for one is not read well through messages, I know from experience. Reading body language is highly important and that is not available through a text message or online.
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that technology has given us a confidence that we would not normally have if we were having a conversation in person. I believe that those who discuss things in person are stronger than those who resort to technology to convey what they wish to say. I have been asked to prom over a text message and because it was over a message and not in person I just had to say no (I didn’t tell him that was why of course but still). I have much more respect for those people who are able to confront others face to face, something I am getting better at.
I think that, as a society, we are more open than ever--especially about such formerly "taboo" topics as homosexuality and sexual activity. I think the assertion that "people are losing the ability to talk about uncomfortable topics in person" is a bold assumption lacking substantial evidence.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that having another means to discuss things, besides simply in person, allows people to be more open. For example, if a person has an eating disorder, that would be something incredibly hard to open up to friends and/or family about. At the same time, there are "virtual" ways to discuss such issues. Because the communication is not face-to-face or with people the person knows, such a person might feel more comfortable turning to an online support group (such as SFWED: Remember It Hurts)
Not to mention, often friends and family members have no idea about the issues their loved ones are facing. Certain things such as eating disorders, psychological disorders, and mental disorders, are difficult to understand unless you are professional or have suffered from a disorder yourself. By having online communities, there is a place for such sufferers to turn that they might not otherwise have had. In this sense, they might be able to be more open than they would have been, had there only been face-to-face communication available.
I don't necessarily think that it is Facebook and Myspace that are the only cause to these superficial answers. We come in contact with so many people that we can't always share our deep feelings. I may say that I'm fine to one person, but it is with my best friends and family that I tell the complete truth. I don't respond to their questions with an "I'm fine" because the trust and the commitment is there. I'm not going to share my life story with everyone that asks me how I'm doing. I don't think that this really has to do with the fact that I do have a Facebook.
ReplyDeleteAnd personally, I have always reserved important and hard conversations to face to face interaction, if possible. As much as I despise confrontation, the other person deserves my respect. I must respect them and have those conversations with them in person. I do think that it is easier for people to make the decision to have these conversation over Facebook. I don't think that is necessarily the best idea. Written words can be misunderstood more easily then words spoken in person, just like how facial cues are so important and why a phone conversation can sometimes cause more harm then good. We try to take the easy way out, but this can hurt us even more.
I have definitely observe a trend of changes in the social behavior of my peers since the increased popularity of online communities such as myspace and Facebook. One such noticeable change is the hesitancy to engage in conversation that might be perceived as having the potential to create conflict when spoken face to face and the ease with which normally non-confrontational people freely have these same conversations through virtual online societies, and other written instantaneous methods of communicating such as IMing or texting. I have personally used texting to say something I really needed to say but I thought I could not do if I were to experience the other persons emotional response, or fear of their reaction. Im sure some other of peers have observed a change in those people they knew who were seemingly nice only to find that when promised interpersonal relationships almost without guilt, emotional response, and some people's minds: consequence, they become incredibly mean, or incredibly honest. Though I think it is not healthy to use the internet as and various virtual societies as our only avenue of communication I think it also allows us more insight into those individual willing to partake in it.
ReplyDeleteI think that there is a lot of truth to this statement. I'm very guilty of masking truths about my life with the polite "I'm fine" response, so I can relate entirely to this statement proposed by Rand. There is somewhat of a tendency towards losing our ability to talk about certain things in person. Perhaps a rather juvenile, yet plausible example is the act of breaking up with someone in a relationship. I think that the expectations are still there, that you shouldn't talk about such a topic over text messages or Facebook chat, however, many people still do it regardless of the criticism they may receive from their peers for doing such a thing. Doing it in this manner makes it much easier for the person responsible, however it also makes them look like much more of a coward. I think this goes for all of the kinds of conversations that take place in an online world versus reality. It is much easier to tell someone something that is not as pleasant if you are doing it online (less of a human reaction makes it easier to cope with the conversation). So I therefore do not think it is making us lose our ability to talk about uncomfortable things in person, I actually think it makes it easier for people to just talk about things in general.
ReplyDeleteIt is also much more time efficient to spread news over a medium such as text messages or facebook, so I think that in that respect, it allows for someone to express difficult feelings more freely to a wider audience. This may or may not be a good thing, depending on what the topic is. I can see how in the future this may be a severe problem for people who cannot express themselves in person, but for now I think it is more of an advantage than a disadvantage for the people engaging in this means of communication.
In some cases yes, people are losing the ability to communicate with one another but in some other cases people are just catching up with old friends they have not seen in a while. I know in my case, i still like to have interaction with other people and facebook is not a good alternative for this. Some people may have the opposite effect with facebook and myspace. A very shy kid in my dorm is very sociable online but when you talk to him in person, he barely talks at all. I think a lot of it depends on the person and whether or not they would be sociable without facebook. Facebook may just be allowing the person the opportunity to get to know someone that they may not have ever gotten to know before.
ReplyDeleteFacebook and other social networking sites definitely provide a more comfortable environment for introverted people. We definitely can hide from social situations through the use of the internet, but still have contact with people. I think this has its benefits as well as malovolent aspects. It is nice that it allows for people with cases of extreme shyness to still participate in social activities because human beings all need some sort of contact.
ReplyDeleteIn contrast, it also allows for these people to continuosly mask themselves and hide from others. The only way for people to become less introverted is through the one-on-one contact and because speaking is such a vital part of our lives, including social places as well as work places, it is valuable to attempt to at least partially veer away from this shyness.
However, I also think facebook goes beyond this. As Rand was discussing in the article, people often portray their feelings and emotions and discuss their everyday lives online. Most people would not have known the hardships and difficulties that people are undergoing and its nice to have someone comment and let you know that they are thinking about you and hope your day gets better, etc.
- Allison R
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think people are losing the ability, I just think that people just prefer to talk about uncomfortable situations over text, chat, etc. One advantage to that is you can formulate exactly what you want to say to get your point across instead of accidentally making a mistake with in-person communication. Also, since it doesn’t seem as personal, it also just seems easier to bring up uncomfortable things. And you don’t need to respond immediately, and I think that’s a major draw with this form of new media.
ReplyDeleteI always try to specifically make a point to save important conversations for in person though, or if that’s not possible, then for the phone. It’s sometimes just not possible to have an in-person conversation all the time. I admit I have to make a point to because sometimes it’s just much more convenient to get on the computer or on the phone, but I appreciate things more when it’s in person. It just allows everything to be a much more personal experience and I believe that it really helps your relationship with someone by doing that.
As far as superficial answers, I think that isn’t something that is specifically restricted to online communication, just maybe an issue that has been highlighted with social networking. I pass many people during my day that I know, and either not having time to chat or not knowing them that well, I’ll say a polite “Hey, I’m good.” However I would feel uncomfortable sharing various aspects of my life to someone that I’m not familiar with so I may not be “good” but I don’t feel like giving that information out there. So I think that’s always an issue and not just something with social networking.
I think that people are indeed reverting to Myspace and Facebook to talk about uncomfortable topics. It is much more common for people to bring up difficult things in passing (such as a status update, wall post, etc) in an online community than it is to mention these things in passing in person. In person, when someone asks “how are you?” it seems as if 98% of the time the other person responds with “fine” or “good.” Yet, people have no problem spilling their minds in a facebook status where multiple people will see and be able to respond to this status.
ReplyDeletePerhaps some people who don’t like to talk about uncomfortable topics in person in general and removed from social networking sites find that it is much easier to divulge such thoughts on Facebook and Myspace. Some people have discovered social networking sites as a place they can talk about difficult topics in a way that they never have before. Rand also talks about an “ambient intimacy” that is made possible only by social networking sites (23). Ambient intimacy that is much more instant and fast-paced than traditional intimacy and can be attributed to changes in personal relationships.
I think that with Facebook and Myspace, talking about uncomfortable topics in person is definitely on the decline. However, talking about difficult topics in general may be increasing due to the accessibility and semi-protective nature of social networking sites. These sites have the potential to activate conversation about difficult topics in certain individuals who wouldn’t have brought it up in person regardless
Sarah Kelsey
Like some of the other comments, I also believe this depends on the person and the situation. Personally, I would never want to address a serious issue online, first because the emotion can be misinterpreted and I would probably want the face to face interaction if I was going through a hard time and needed a friend. I really think it depends on the situation. If it was a confrontation, I think more people would want to hide behind their computer just to avoid any awkwardness; however, most people would probably deal with it appropriately if an in-person conversation is the best option. Like Nathan, I think people do like the extra time to formulate their response, so this form of communication may be more common, but not detrimental in most cases.
ReplyDeleteI do believe people use social networking sites and email messages to avoid awkward or uncomfortable situations. Talking online allows extra time to think about how we want to say something that might be difficult to discuss in person. It also allows us to ignore or procrastinate answering an uncomfortable or frustrating question someone might ask us. It is immeasurably easier to have an argument online, but it is also much easier to get carried away or type things without thinking them through because it is much easier to type true feelings than it is to say them to another person's face.
ReplyDeleteAs to Rand's comment about masking true emotions, I think it is easier to mask them online than it is in person. When talking to someone on Facebook it is easy to type "I'm fine!" even if I was feeling awful. For me, it would be more difficult to try and hide my true emotions in person. I'll admit that I have masked my feelings online several times and avoided many confrontations by having virtual conversations. For a person like me who avoids rocking the boat at all costs, social networking allows a way for me to collect my thoughts and sometimes even avoid problems all together.
Overall, I think talking online can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it makes confrontation easier or even non-existent if a person so chooses, but a curse because it eliminates face to face interaction and may even be training us that it is unacceptable to show our true emotions.
I agree with what the majority of the comments so far, in that FaceBook, MySpace, and other such sites make it easier for people to talk about uncomfortable subjects. Some people are loosing the ability entirely - they live their lives through online communities, and have no idea how to communicate in person. However, I believe that in most cases the ability is still there. I think that people revert to such media for communicating difficult topics because it's not as much of an emotional connection. For example, if you are talking to someone face to face, there's a sort of visceral human-interaction that takes place. When communications take place over the internet, they lack this personal connection. Let's face it - It's easier to text something embarrassing than it is to say it. When you're embarrassed in public, you want to run and hide, where no one can see you, to a place where you can hide your shame. Well, IMing about embarrassing topics allows you to hide physically behind the electronic medium you are using. Similarly, to me it seems that people worry less about posting pictures of themselves online than they would in person. Basically, they'd be embarrassed to hand over certain personal photographs to someone else, but they can post it online without a second thought.
ReplyDeleteI believe this partially stems from a desire to be accepted. No one wants rejection, right? If you confess your love for someone in person, you might have to endure the humiliating experience of being told TO YOUR FACE that they don't like you. The solution? Say it electronically. It hurts less that way, because there is the emotional disconnect. The drawback is that such confessions through an electronic medium also mean less, because of the disconnect.
So, FaceBook and MySpace definitely make it easier for people to speak about sensitive subjects or to post revealing photos, because they disconnect the speaker, poster, etc. from their audience, thus dulling the interaction.
I think that people are more open about sharing their daily lives and its ups and downs, but I find that it makes me uncomfortable to see such personal information. When I get status updates or news of a "note" from acquaintances who go into detail about their lives, especially about dark and personal stuff, I feel like I'm seeing a part of them that I shouldn't really be privy to because I'm not close enough to that person.
ReplyDeleteNot all Facebook friends are equal. If I have something that is really bugging me, I'll share it with my closest friends and my family, much like others on this blog have stated. I don't feel comfortable sharing personal information about my life with people I don't know that well, even though they may post compassionate comments, but can't do much past that.
When posting status updates when I'm upset I'll allude to some terrible hangover I'm suffering from, but I won't directly say "Jenny is so hung over she can't function". My mom is my friend on Facebook. So are a few of my aunts. I don't really want them to know about the stupid decisions I'm making via Facebook.
Another thing to consider, something we discussed on Tuesday- employers checking out your Facebook. I'm a senior and it's concerning to think that I may not get into medical school because of some pictures taken when I was not making good decisions. Recently there has been a lot of talk about inappropriate behavior from medical students posting things or asking patients to become their "friends". Being a professional with a position of authority comes with responsibility.
I think that SNS have allowed people to express themselves easier, but I don't think that it is a necessarily good idea to share every detail. If there is something on your mind that you feel you should share, talk to friends or family on the phone or in person, instead of posting such personal things online. And if you want to share it with the world, keep in mind who your potential audience will be and make sure the post is appropriate.
Although I believe that it is far easier to discuss personal/uncomfortable topics online, I do not believe that MySpace and Facebook are necessarily to blame. Yes, they do facilitate communication between millions of people simultaneously, but the ability to speak about uncomfortable topics face-to-face, or in an online setting, is a personal choice. I do, however, think that it is far easier to express oneself online seeing as there is not a period of instant judgment. For instance, it is far easier to say something mean to someone, or even divulge a romantic secret to a significant other by way of internet because you don't have to see their immediate facial reaction. You get instant feedback, but it is flat, and in word form, written on a screen and open to your own interpretation (to a point). Online, we can hide behind our words and be more abrupt with our thoughts because there is no immediate consequence or punishment, which leads to our ability to speak about uncomfortable or "taboo" topics in such a manner.
ReplyDeleteMyspace and Facebook are networking sites that allow us to attempt to be accepted by hundreds, or thousands of people in an instant. We can do this via photos, videos, or comments posted on "walls" etc. Divulging our personalities online allows us to make friends without actually going through the effort of having face-to-face conversation. We let others get to know us, and don't have to do the work of getting to know them at the same time. I'm rambling a bit, but in essence what I'm trying to say is yes, networking sites allow us to easily express anything that would be met with any hesitation in a physical setting. We can say or do whatever we want online, and then leave and live our lives in the "real world". Anything posted online has a much less dramatic of an effect, and therefore facilitates cyber-talking instead of "old-fashioned" conversations in person.
I don’t know if I would say that people are losing the ability to discuss difficult topics in person, but it seems that in many situations, people tend to prefer doing it in the online world. I definitely think it depends on the situation and who is involved, however. It is a lot easier to be upfront in person with your close friends than with someone you aren’t as close with. I absolutely hate confrontation, so online discussions are oftentimes less stressful for me. However, although many times I would prefer to hold a discussion on the internet, I don’t think that it has caused me to lose the ability to do so in person. If society continues to spend more and more time on the internet and less time talking face to face, then it is certainly possible that people will lose the ability to do so.
ReplyDeleteI do not think that people use Facebook as a medium to let out their true feelings. Granted many people find it necessary to write drastic comments on their page, but I think this is mostly for attention. Before Facebook people did not pour out their emotions to just anyone on the street. They confined in people that they were comfortable with and were willing to express their emotions freely with. With Facebook, people are more likely to send a message to an inbox of a close friend rather than update their status if they are having a problem.
ReplyDeleteI do think that people are putting more of their personal lives out in the public with the invention of Facebook. They update their status knowing that anyone they are friends with can read it and potentially respond or even “like” it. In a way they are connecting with more people about topics they normally wouldn’t talk about to every single person that reads it, but it doesn’t mean they are sharing deep, personal information with all these people.
The masking behind the "I'm fine, how are you?" has been around far longer than facebook or any of the social networking sites and really has nothing to do with them. Personally, the reason why I would respond in that way would not be because I am trying to hide my feelings from someone, but rather social custom. When people greet you, you greet them back. Rarely does that phrase "I'm fine, how are you?" literally mean what it says. When people respond that way, they do not actually mean "Yes, I am in good health at the moment. I would like to inquire of your well-being as well." The true meaning of the phrase is more along the lines of "I am acknowledging that you have greeted me, and I am now returning the favor out of politeness or conformity to this culture's customs." Most of the time, I don't even think about whether I'm fine or not before I answer the question.
ReplyDeleteOn the internet, it's true that more people have the guts to say what they would otherwise not. When released from all constraints, man reveals his true nature. People are more likely to be rude, condescending, or just plain vulgar if they can hide behind the anonymity of a username.
It definitely seems to be the trend for our generation to express itself most honestly in the virtual world, rather than in reality. The anonymity of a username, the extra time we're allotted to gather our thoughts before presenting them, the option to avoid an awkward face to face conversation... all these factors and those described above make the virtual conversation more appealing than the face to face one. So, to answer half of the question, yes: people are reverting to social networking sites to express what may be difficult or awkward. But, I do not believe that this trend will cause us to lose the ability to discuss in reality. When it comes down to it, I don't think any of us feel truly fulfilled after expressing what could have been said in reality through the virtual world.
ReplyDeleteLet's say, for example, you want to apologize to a close friend, so you hop on facebook to chat. After pouring your heart out through your keyboard, he/she accepts your apology. At least he says he does. But what if he's just typing the appropriate responses? How does he really feel? Is he being sarcastic? Tone, visual cues, manner of speech, etc. don't exist in facebook chat, so you're left feeling uncertain of what you've just accomplished. And this is why actual human contact will always prevail: the virtual world is deceiving and unsure. It's just a matter of time until we graduate from the training wheels of facebook chat and use actual, face to face conversation to make ourselves best understood.
Confrontation is not the easiest task in the world. I think as a society we have come to demand the easy way out, the fastest possible solutions, and everything INSTANTLY. With this new way of viewing the world it seems only natural that people revert to the mode that's easiest, fastest, and the most instantaneous. Though i don't condone discussing uncomfortable topics via the internet, I can see why people continue to do so. Also, with the growth of cyber communities, many people spend more time "with someone" online rather than in person. With online conversing/cyber conversing (basically anything NOT person to person conversing) now being the main mode of communication it alters what people go to first. You don't reach for your saddle to ride over to your friend's house to discuss a problem, no- you reach for your phone or computer to confront them about it while it is on your mind. Facebook and Myspace are not the main causes or THE causes of this change of behavior, but they both have definitely aided in progressing this behavior of talking about uncomfortable issues online.
ReplyDeleteUpon initially reading of this question I began to answer no! My reasoning was that Facebook and myspace provide an outlet for simple, nice conversations. Wall posts and facebook chat conversations often consist of silly inside jokes and the meaningful "I miss you!" My first thought was that facebook encourages face-to-face discussions because the conversations normally had on such a website are remarkably simple.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, though, I changed my mind. Facebook encourages us to rant about our bad mood the moment it overcomes us. By seeing that our best friend is on facebook chat we are inspired to complain to them about our bad grade or our annoying roommate and thus emotional conversations run wild throughout the internet. Also, countless seminars were given throughout high school of the dangers of online bullies and how teasing on the web can go too far.
So ultimately, after arguing with myself I would have to say that the internet does in fact perpetuate non-face to face confrontation and inturn the demoralizing of our society.
WELLLL… maybe. I know that I personally would rather speak to someone in person when it’s something uncomfortable. A breakup, a confession, a serious problem… These are all things that can’t be effectively conveyed with frowny faces or lols.
ReplyDeleteI do often prefer the editing functions of communications online – often I end up saying things (in person) I regret or know could’ve been said better, and I have the opportunity when I’m typing things to change or sometimes even retract my thoughts.
But how would you feel if someone broke up with you over a text? Told you via e-mail that they were pregnant? Worried about the relationship?
One good example is “We need to talk!”
Is this a message of urgency, stating that there is something that needs to be resolved?
Is it a simple assertion that you guys like TOTALLY need to chat it up? Emoticons only help so much.
But this isn’t an issue of preference. It’s an issue of ability. Am I losing the capability to talk to people face-to-face? Perhaps.
I’m reminded of a (recurring) problem in my dorm. There is a group of people on my dorm who like to stay up until 3 every night / morning. The tension has been escalating and they finally ‘snapped’ last night.
“Why do they keep calling the RA?”
*insert immature remarks*
I suppose that their complaint was that no one ever told them to their faces to please try and be a little quieter; people are trying to sleep.
(Only two known attempts to do this were ever successful. But I digress.)
Was the lack of face-to-face contact because of the discomfort discussion such issues? Probably. Was it the result of things like the Internet? Probably not.
I know I personally am non-confrontational and would rather not be yelled at (again). I have been this way since before I even had my own computer, much less access to the Internet or any social networking sites.
[Sorry to bring my personal life into the blogs yet again! But I’ve been discovering more and more connections between our topics and my current life as the class progresses.]
My thoughts correspond with those of C Lavery--I believe that any inability to discuss uncomfortable topics face-to-face is a personal issue, one that can be overcome. Although I am much better with confrontation than I once was, I still prefer to hide behind words. It is much easier to express yourself when another person is not present to judge, interrupt, ask questions, etc. However, I do not think that new forms of media are to blame for this irrational fear of one-on-one human encounters. If Facebook and Myspace are at fault, then so are pens and paper.
ReplyDeleteBut is there even really a problem with this? There have been numerous occasions where I have written a letter to mend some sort of relationship. In person, words seem to stumble out of the mouth, where as in writing thoughts are...well...thought out. Words can be eloquently strung together to produce something far more compelling than anything said while stressed or under pressure.
I suppose that everything depends on the situation. There is a time and a place for speaking to someone in person, just as there are times when a hand-written note or facebook wall post might suffice.
Yes, I agree. In times of conflict people often resort to social network sites like facebook and myspace instead of addressing the issue in person. However, I don't exactly think that this means people are losing the ability to talk about uncomfortable topics in person.
ReplyDeleteFacebook and myspace give people the confidence needed to say certain things to people that otherwise wouldn't be said. This confidence stems from the fact that talking online allows you to edit and think about what exactly you want to say. You don't have to fear an awkward silence or certain facial expressions. So for these reasons people chose to talk about uncomfortable topics online. Not because they don't have the ability to do so in person, but because its easier.
Personally, I feel that the way someone chooses to talk to you shows a lot about the person and whether or not the person respects you. For example, someone who breaks up a relationship through facebook or a text message shows that the person lacks the confidence to do so in person. I personally would take offense to someone calling off a relationship not in person. It is rude and disrespectful to do otherwise.
I don’t think that people are losing the ability to communicate about uncomfortable issues face to face, but if they were I would probably attribute that to technology; Maybe not Facebook or MySpace in particular, but technology at large.
ReplyDeleteI know that hiding behind the computer screen and eliminating the face to face aspect of conversation makes it easier, for me at least, to talk, period. But that is largely because I am such a shy person. So when it comes to difficult topics, I feel just as awkward covering them online as I do in person.
I know that covering uncomfortable topics depends greatly on the issue and on the audience. For example I would much rather have an intimate conversation with my best friend about anything in person than I would online. You lose so much when conversing on the internet. Besides emotion and body language, you lose the comfort that being with people you care about offers. On the other hand, when talking to a mere acquaintance, it is much less difficult to discuss uncomfortable topics via the internet. You don’t have to worry about how they perceive your emotions and body language and you can keep the conversation to cold, hard facts.
Although, some people have discussed the fact that it is easier to talk about uncomfortable topics in an environment where you have time to formulate your thoughts properly and where your audience has unlimited time to respond. Personally, this drives me crazy. I especially dislike having conversations like this via text. On sites such as Facebook the reaction time can be quicker but for the most part you are still plagued by wondering how they are reacting to your thought, statement, question, etc. In contrast, bringing these things up in person allows you to gauge the reactions of your audience and respond accordingly. Sometimes you can take a conversation further than it ought to have gone via internet because you don’t have the advantage of seeing the receiving party’s reaction and thus you are unable to steer the conversation in an appropriate direction.
There are some things that just cannot be conveyed well via the internet, no matter how hard anyone tries. There certainly things that should not be discussed online; important things and difficult subjects. But these things are generally topics reserved for those people who you would regularly see in person anyway, or whom you could at the very least call. I feel that everyone should make a concerted effort to maintain their face to face relationships and to build upon them and develop new ones. But there is only so much time in the day and Facebook/MySpace makes communication of trivial thoughts so much easier. However, the important matters in life really ought to be discussed in person and I think that for the most part they still are.
I think that whether or not social networking sites are taking away our ability to communicate in person certainly depends on the individual and his/her preferences, and this transition doesn't necessarily have to be considered a bad thing. For example, some people are just not very confrontational, either out of fear of being ostracized, out of not knowing what to say, or simply out of being a little impartial. On the other hand, other individuals dislike conflict, and if any problems arise, they immediately contact their adversaries and clear up all the issues. WIth the growth of social networking sites, these non-confrontational individuals now have another medium through which they can communicate their concerns. This new media, because they can express their ideas in text, allows for them to formulate their responses more thoughtfully. This may lessen their fear of being ostracized because they can make sure to fully explain themselves, and they can think more critically about what to say. However, if an individual is simply impartial and sees no reason to be confrontational, then s/he will neither do it in person nor through a social networking site; thus, the point that social networking sites are taking away his/her ability to communicate in person is mute because s/he wouldn't do it anyway. If individuals like to clear up conflicts promptly, then whether or not they do it in person or over the internet just depends on the intricacies of the situation and what is more convenient. If a conflict arises with someone who the individual doesn't know too intimately, then perhaps s/he would prefer to have a discussion over the internet; whereas with someone that s/he is close to, the individual may prefer to speak in person.
ReplyDeleteOverall, even if social networking sites are decreasing how frequently we confront problems in person, I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. Why does it matter how people are dealing with their issues, as long as they are? Social networking sites provide another means for individuals to discuss problems that they may have otherwise ignored and failed to address. Perhaps people are communicating less in person, but they may be communicating more in general. Whether or not this is a bad thing, I suppose only the future can tell us.
I believe that when communicating with people you actually speak to in person it doesn't matter if you're talking to them online or not, the same code of conduct is in place. However, when communicating with people you don't know that code of conduct is much more limited, or even non-existant.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I don't necessarily think this is due entirely to the internet. I think that people have always found it easier to be rude to, or take their aggressions out on someone they don't know. The internet just gives them wider access to these people with fewer reprecussions. I mean I am sure we have all seen "internet fights". It starts with one rude, generally poorly spelled, comment and turns into an all out text war. Perhaps it's actually good stress relief. Maybe someone should study that.
I don’t believe that, because of Facebook and Myspace, people are losing the ability to uncomfortable topics in person, reverting instead to social networking sites. Facebook and Myspace do have the ability to facilitate the conversation which people feel not comfortable to speak out with those who they are not that closed to. People can send messages online through these social networking sites, which allows them to have time to think before they respond and avoid awkward conversation that could happen in real life. However, when it comes to their best friends and family, more people choose to meet and talk in person. Family and best friends will always love you and they are shelters that you can tell anything you want to them.
ReplyDeleteTherefore, I don’t think people are losing the ability to talk uncomfortable topics in person. However, it is people’s choice how they want to communicate with different people. They will choose what they think is the best choice to avoid awkwardness. Face to face communications still exist everywhere in our lives.
-Duoduo
I feel that in answering the question "What's on your mind?" on Facebook or MySpace, I feel more like I am writing in a journal than speaking to a group of people. Personally, I have never been able to talk about uncomfortable topics very well, even online. I do not feel that social networking sites enable me significantly in this particular area. All they succeed in doing is allow me to update my friends and acquaintances with what is going on in my life at the time.
ReplyDeleteI do find that it is much easier to be unkind to people online. The inability to see the person to whom you are speaking adds a level of detachment that sometimes allows me to unleash a level of emotion, especially in situations where I would otherwise feel more constrained. Is this a positive consequence of social networking sites? Personally, I doubt it.
Personally, I refrain from having important or really deep conversations over any form of electronic medium. There are some things that can and should only be said face to face. That having been said, I don't really think people are completely losing the ability to discuss tough topics, they just are choosing not to more and more.
ReplyDeleteAs many have mentioned, online interaction is much easier/controlled than personal interaction. I know many people that pull the "I'm fine. :)" online when they're not. If there was the personal interaction, I would be able to see through that, at least with a friend.
So anyways, I don't believe cyberspace is making us incapable of displaying our true emotions, it's just easier in some cases. It's kind of like emotional outsourcing.